By the time the family is in our office, it is often too late!

“The divorce agreement said that I would keep the house and he wouldn’t have to pay for college.” “He lives with dad most of the time, but I was advised to claim him on my taxes.” “I was told that since my income is less, we won’t have to involve my ex!”

Such advice, given often by divorce mediators and attorneys or financial planners, can be well-meaning, but fails to take into consideration the nuance of the world of college affordability.

The bad news is that, when allocating money for financial aid, colleges and universities don’t care what the divorce document says — you’ll need to follow their rules. And they have stringent criteria for who is determined to be the fiscally responsible primary parent, as well as who else is expected to contribute to the student’s education.

The federal government site has an excellent overview of who is considered the “parent” for financial aid purposes. In most cases, it is the parent with whom the student spends over 50% of their time. But that just applies to colleges which use the federal methodology for allocating money. Most private colleges use a different formula, one in which both parent’s incomes are considered.

This can come as quite a shock to parents embarking on the college search process. And it can be particularly hard on kids, for whom it feels like the divorce is happening all over again.

So, before you sign anything, know the rules! And if you decide to re-marry, please do the same!