You've been deferred -- and no matter what anyone says to try to lessen the disappointment, it still feels lousy! Your parents are vacillating between trying to be comforting and hitting the panic button. You're staying off of Facebook to avoid all of the "Class of 2022!!!!" posts, even though you are genuinely happy for your friends. Some call it limbo; others call it purgatory. Here are five things you can do to right the ship and get cruising along once again.
1. Take some time for yourself. Just like the bereavement process, you need some time to grieve. That's OK. Go for a hike, binge-watch a series on Netflix, sob with your best friend, devour a pint of Ben and Jerry's "Chocolate Therapy."
2. Reassess. Once your mind is clear, it's time to move forward. We recommend that students take the "you're dead to me" approach to that deferring college until all the rest of their regular decision applications are submitted. Make sure to meet with your college advisor to take a look at your college list one more time. Do you have enough safe options that you genuinely like?
3. Know the numbers. Traditionally, Yale defers around 50% of those that apply early action while Vanderbilt defers almost no one. Therefore, a Vanderbilt deferral has a much better shot at acceptance in the regular decision pool than the Yale deferral. Many colleges will post these numbers on their website or in an article in the college newspaper. If you can't find them, call the admission office and ask.
4. Move on. Many students find that the "you're dead to me" mindset endures. It is fine to say: if you didn't want to accept me early, I'd rather not go. For others, it's still "I can't get you out of my head." Colleges know this, and that is why we see very few regular decision acceptances after a deferral for students that do not reiterate their interest in attending.
5. Plead your case. Pull out of the trashcan and uncrumple the deferral letter. Read what it says. Many colleges ask that you stay in touch and update them with new information to enhance your candidacy. These can include senior year grades (hopefully with more As), another teacher letter of recommendation, higher test scores, additional honors and awards, or enhanced extracurriculars. Other colleges ask that you not send anything else. You want to follow this request. If they give you the opportunity to add to your file, do so. Send a letter professing your love of the school and your desire to attend if admitted. Ask one of your senior year teachers to write you a new rec. Keep your grades up! Stay involved!
Finally, don't let a deferral define you. Most seasoned admission officers are careful to say that they accept, reject, defer or waitlist a file, not an applicant. To them, you were just a stack of paper -- a stack that they likely reviewed in under ten minutes. So try not to take a deferral or rejection personally. They let a good one get away!