The Peril of Asking a 16 or 17-year old: What do you want to do with the rest of your life?

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What do you want to do with the rest of your life? Counselors, teachers, parents, and friends often ask this question of high school students as they begin to think about post-high school graduation plans, and it makes sense: we want goals to inform planning.  However, it is essential to recognize that many kids this age don’t know what they want to do… or be.  They may be more drawn to STEM classes or love literature and writing, but their goals may still be quite vague.  And they may not have identified a major or area of interest for college.

In the wake of the prolonged recession that started in 2008 that resulted in a rising number of unemployed college graduates, we have found that families want their kids to identify careers earlier and make that a key criterion of the college search and match process.  The students we work with are feeling the pressure, increasing anxiety for some. 

“Let’s stop stressing out our kids with career choice pressure” an op-ed in the Philadelphia Inquirer by the psychologist, speaker, and author, Janet Sasson Edgette reminds us that forcing our children to decide on a career before they are ready can lead to false starts and unintended consequences.  She also makes a case for raising children who are adaptive — who value education for the opportunity to explore and discover as they will be better prepared for futures where they will have to change as the career landscape changes. Parenting our children to seek a balance between security and what brings them joy is a goal worth promoting.

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